Why Your Team Sucks 2. Jacksonville Jaguars. Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Budget Hammond eases off austerity. Chancellor gives firsttime buyers a tax break and bails out NHS. Philip Hammond embarked on a 25 billion giveaway yesterday in. Free Download Htc Wildfire S Apps. Instead of taking up phone space with an extra app, you can find out where your precious minutes get spent by visiting your iPhones Battery section, according to. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team Jacksonville Jaguars. Your 2. 01. 6 record 3 1. Here now is a full summary of your season The Jaguars have lost 1. At least when Cleveland loses, they go all out. By contrast, the Jaguars put on a cheap sheen of continuity and professionalism that renders them forgettable even when theyre steadily smashing records for hideous incompetence. Gus Bradley was 1. Jags finally, mercifully let him go. In Jacksonville, they dont fire you so much as grudgingly admit that they never should have hired you to begin with. That. 2. 26 winning percentage makes Bradley the second worst coach in NFL history. Thats the Jaguars for you never quite bold enough to be the absolute worst. It goes on. The return unit got owned by a punter. Do you deliberately avoid visiting friends who live in multistory buildings without an elevator No one would fault youhaving to climb even just a single flight. Microsofts Continue on PC is Device Agnostic. The companys new Continue on PC feature is a site sharing tool for both Android and iOS devices. Join the NASDAQ Community today and get free, instant access to portfolios, stock ratings, realtime alerts, and more Join Today. Find the latest business news on Wall Street, jobs and the economy, the housing market, personal finance and money investments and much more on ABC News. K9F9dEBSvpJyqaGqmMYwr-970-80_zpsstcv1cno.jpg' alt='Pc Fifa Manager 07 Extra Time Expansion Compensation' title='Pc Fifa Manager 07 Extra Time Expansion Compensation' />The teams best young defender got owned by Steve Smith. The Titans, their spiritual Thursday Night Football brothers, crushed them on national TV and have an actual future. Oh, and the Steal the show ladyTurned out she was homeless. Is there nothing this area of the country cannot make horribly sadYour coach Oh look Its WIDELY RESPECTED mall dad Doug Marrone You probably remember Marrone, seen here formulating a game plan, from the time he quit the Bills thanks to a strange contract clause that let him collect 4 million even if he opted out. Marrone was banking on getting another head job right away only to quickly discover that a coach with a 1. Lucky for you Jags fans, the franchisewait for itpounced on Marrone BOOM, gave him a piddly shit job coaching the line for an awful team, and then promoted him when they couldnt find anyone better to hire. Buffalos loss is now your future loss Congrats You should hope the Jags play as hard as Marrone played himself. Anyway, this is the exact kind of uninspiring, bland hire the world counts on from Jacksonville. They are the Democratic party of football, trotting out one respectable loser after another. The only time they make a splash is when one of their fans grabs his nuts in the stadium pool. HOWEVER, they did make one notable hire after anointing Marrone permanent interim head coach Ford Crown Victoria door flies open OHHHHHH SHIT YEAH HES BACK Yes folks, the glory days of the Tom Coughlin era are here once more. Early meeting times Hands on hips Yelling Red cheeks Players forced to play through horrible injuries Training tables with two different kinds of All Bran Its all here. Now instead of going 3 1. Jags will go 4 1. EXHAUSTED by the end of it. The old man has already gotten in trouble for pulling his whole Youre late if you arent early horseshit, so thats a promising signCoughlin will be in charge of overseeing i. I say by Week 4, he storms down to the field, rips off Marrones headset, and forces him to do 5. DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE. Your quarterback Ageful wonder Blake Bortles. Lets see how those mechanics are going Fantastic. This was the year for Jacksonville to bail on the Great Bortles Experiment. But noooooooooo. No, these guys decided to fuck this chicken yet again and roll out with a quarterback who looks exactly like Tom Coughlins LAST Jags quarterback does right now. The Vatican moves with more swiftness than this team. Look how old Bortles is. Even Lorde is like JESUS THAT GUY IS LYING ABOUT HIS AGE. But the disturbing oldness of Bortles is arguably his least alarming quality This play is hardly an anomaly. I can put on a game tape, close my eyes, hit STOP at any random interval, and still land on footage of Bortles being a basket case on the field. Its astounding. To say Bortles regressed last season is an insult to other things that have regressed, like Twitter, and rock music, and the United States of America. Bortles went BEYOND regressing and found a new and wondrous crevasse to fall through. His TD total fell dramatically. His yards per attempt fell dramatically. Do you want to know the most disturbing part He was sacked 1. STILL worse. And hes not even finished cratering, given that hes spent these early practices doing his best Ryan Fitzpatrick impression. This is why theres still a hidden subset of Duval holding onto hope that the Jags will sign Tebow as a franchise QB in like 2. So are we, Bort. So are we. Whats new that sucks Youre not gonna believe this, but the Jags signed a lot of free agents Shocking, I know. This years Golden Parachute recipients included Barry Church, A. J. Bouye, and tackle Branden Albert. Will any of these men make a differenceLOL FUCK AND NO. Albert retired YESTERDAY. One look at Jags training camp and he was like, Well this is hopeless. Im not sure any Jags free agent has actually ever ended up playing a down. I just assume that whenever the Jags sign a free agent, they lock them in a sewer dungeon la Melissa Leo in that Prisoners movie. It doesnt matter if the Jags bring in a slew of free agents annually free agents always come in slews. They will vanish. Its magic. Also, they drafted Leonard Fournette, which would have been a crazy awesome thing to do exactly one year earlier. Now its like they drafted Greg Jones II. What has always sucked Dave Caldwell is still here How the fuck do you let Gus Bradley go but keep the architect in charge of all this futility They brought in Tom Coughlin but somehow forgot to can this guy What the fuck I swear to God, Shad Khans appendix could burst and it would take him eight weeks to visit the hospital. This is why the Jags will always be the official team of Thursday nights. They keep around the same leadership to hand out the same wasted money to field the same shitty product year after year for a bunch of hot tub yahoos who are too loaded to give a shit either way. Did you know By area, Jacksonville is the largest city in the United States. I live in Maryland. But technically, I ALSO live in Jacksonville. Im not happy about it. What might not suck At least you wont lose any fights to a Bears fan. HEAR IT FROM JAGS FANSNoel I almost rear ended the car in front of me when my eyes rolled into my head after hearing a local sports radio host say, Im THRILLED the Jags are going to get to practice with the Patriots up in Foxboro this offseason. The young guys, the veterans, theyre all going to get so much out of that.